Muslim Lifestyle

For single Muslims: How to live a happy lifestyle

Are you a single Muslim?

Being single form part of everyone’s life, it could be part or throughout life. However, it comes with temptations, fears and worldly influence for many Muslims.

It is for sure that our faith as Muslims encourages early marriage among young people to escape the temptations involved.

Others took full advantage of this, by the time they got to experience what singleness is meant, they aren’t single any longer.

What about my brother or sister who for his/her own reasons wants to leave a single life for some time or waiting for the best time?  What is it like to be a single Muslim without falling into the pit of dilemmas and temptations that come with it, whether man or woman?

Being single comes with challenges. You’ll have to spend years fighting against an invisible enemy who disregards Allah[swt] glory and seeks to detour you away from His good and perfect will. You’ll be tempted to follow the world’s ways, to forsake the desire of your own heart to be cherished, and most importantly, to forsake Allah Almighty.

Truly speaking, to be free from all these unhappy situations, and maintain your happiness and righteousness in every moment of your single life, it is imperative that you possess a thorough and profound understanding of yourself and your situation, and how to maintain discipline over it.

Keep gliding down this page to learn how the Holy Quran and Sunnah want you to happily deal with singleness without crossing the line.

Understand your condition from Allah [swt] perspective

If Allah[swt] should aid you, no one can overcome you; but if He should forsake you, who is there that can aid you after Him? And upon Allah[swt] let the believers rely. (Quran 3:160)

Your perspective about yourself defines many things about how you react to life’s situations.

So first of all, you need to know that your life as a Muslim is ultimately guided by someone. Though it is simple, it isn’t always easy to grasp this concept. However, nothing can compare to the joy that will embrace you as you get to know your condition in Allah[swt]’s perspective.

Are you single by your choice, the choice of others (divorced), or by the circumstances of your life, Allah[swt] is deeply aware of you. It is stated in the Glorious Quran:

“And indeed We have created man, and we know what his self whispers to him. And we are nearer to him than his jugular vein.” (Quran 50:16)

If you have ever looked into a broken mirror, you will only see a distorted image of yourself. But upon seeing that you’re messed-up in the mirror, you never pay any attention to it because you know your face isn’t messed, it’s the mirror that isn’t clear.

In the same way, you should forget the world’s broken mirror and look into the accurate mirror of Allah[swt] to discern the truth. Stay focused on what Allah [swt] has enjoined and forget all that He[swt] has forbidden.

Seek Direction within the Muslim Community

“… and fear Allah[swt] through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship)…” (Al-Nisa’ 4:1)

The Muslim community is the source for much of both our physical and spiritual growth as happy Muslims. Allah[swt] calls us to these vibrant communities within our families and within the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet[saw].

As a single Muslim, this community is one of the best means for making a potential spouse and receiving guidance and support needed for Marriage. Even in today’s world of online dating, marriage experts still see matches made by friends, family and the Muslim communities to be among the best.

Therefore, get connected to families. Feeling detached and alone serves a very comfortable means for the devil to defeat you. You need to be around others, such as families and good friends who you can develop deep and helpful relationships with, and spend time with them at meals, with their kids, outings, etc. Bring them into your life; that way you will be kept engaged with much love and happiness.

Use this as a chance to grow

Single Muslims who have more respect for Allah’s command may felt the weight of loneliness. However, it is possible to make your loneliness a means to grow a happy life and to come closer to Allah[swt] rather than seeking His wrath for the sake of your desires.

If you’ve been married but now single due to certain conditions, then you should use this as a chance to heal. Use this moment to focus on healing from past hurts and also working on your own areas of weakness.

Singleness also can serve you better in living a pure lifestyle that can prepare you for a good partner in the future. It is obvious in today’s world that staying sexually pure is the greatest challenge among young people. However, in our case as happy and righteous Muslims, that’s not true because we value what Allah wants than our desires.

Singleness should prepare you for a blessed marriage. Also, you can think of this moment as an investment in the welfare of your future marriage.

Meanwhile, every single Muslim should also bear it in mind that whether they marry in the future or not, sexual purity is an awesome reflection of their relationship with Allah[swt] as the Quran asserted:

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze, and protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily, Allah[swt] is All-Aware of what they do.” (Quran 24:30)

Seek Guidance from Allah[swt] Almighty through Dua and zikr

The Prophet [saw] said, “Allah [swt] said, ‘I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am. I am with him when he mentions Me. If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself; and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it. If he draws near to Me a hand’s length, I draw near to him an arm’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.’” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

You need to realize that Allah[swt]’s help is nearer than you think. His help will surely reach you once you turn to Him and ask Him with patience.

See Also: A Touching Advice for Young Muslims

Discover and deal with the roots of your singleness with prayer. If you want to get married, yet it hasn’t happened for you, your single situation could be due to unfinished business within your personal life. For instance, there may be some basic trust issues, fears of intimacy or tendency to allow others to control you in the case of a lady. Issues like this affect not only singleness but one’s entire life.

To deal with it in a successful way, you need to get into the spiritual growth process and begin to discover the personal struggles that may have kept you single longer than you wished. In fact, it is possible that Allah[swt] can turn the pain of possible betrayal and loneliness into an incredible time of spiritual, emotional and relational growth.

Perhaps there are unique factors in your life that you have never before, or will never again experience. It’s easier said than done, but why not pray and ask Allah[swt] if there is something He wants to build into you or if there is some help around the corner. Allah Almighty’s mercy will surely embrace you soon as stated in the Glorious Quran:

“And when My servants ask you (O Muhammad concerning Me, then answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My Knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor). So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright” (Quran 2:186)

Enjoy being a single Muslim

BOOK LINK: Enjoy Your Life by Dr. Muhammad Al-‘Areefi

In fact, you must be content with what Allah[swt] has apportioned for you now because He has a reason for everything he does.

Yes, you have to enjoy life to the fullest! Beware of allowing your singleness to impact on your behavior as a happy Muslim. Have fun as a single person, whether it is a temporary or permanent condition. You have more freedom than married people though, use it to grow and invest in your future or future Marriage.

A thought:

Always turn and look at the bright aspect of your single life before looking at the dark aspect and you will surely be happy Insha-Allah.

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Muslim Lifestyle

How to Lower your Gaze | How to stop looking at women lustfully

So you want to Lower your Gaze?

These are some very important guidelines for protecting one’s gaze. I will present them here. Do try and read them once daily with the intention of reformation.

The harms of evil glances are so numerous that sometimes one’s faith and worldly life are both destroyed. The evil effects of this spiritual disease are spreading rapidly nowadays.

Accordingly, it seems appropriate to mention the cure and remedy to all the harms which come with it. Consequently, one can protect one’s gaze by adhering to the following practices:

1. When women are passing by, keep the gaze low no matter how much one has an urge to look. If your gaze accidentally falls on someone, immediately lower it no matter how difficult it is, even if there is fear of losing your life.

2. Perform a minimum of two Rakaats for every evil glance and also give some money to charity according to your means. Repent excessively.

If you haven’t had the chance yet, see it now on how to repent to Allah the right way.

3. Completely abstain from intermingling with the opposite sex or anyone to whom one is sexually attracted to.

4. Do not read love poems or novels. Abstain completely from cinema, television, videos, unnecessary “surfing” on the Internet and all pornography.

5. Stay away from the environment of nudity and disobedience. Do not adopt the company of those who are involved in the disobedience of Allah.

By practicing the above-mentioned guidelines, Insha- Allah, your Nafs will come under control.

Your heart and soul will perceive such rewards that will bring ecstasy to your soul all the time. The heart will experience such tranquility that even the kings do not dream of. It will seem as if a life of hell has been changed into a heavenly life.

Ibn Abi Dunya narrates on the authority of Abu Hurairah that Rasulullah said:

Every eye shall weep on the Day of Judgment except for the eye which was lowered from unlawful glances and that eye which stayed awake in the path of Allah and that eye which shed tears in the fear of Allah (even if tear be as small as the head of a fly).” (Tafseer Ibn Katheer: Sura Nur, Ayat 30)

May Allah Ta’ala grant us the ability to practice upon what has been mentioned.


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Muslim Lifestyle

10+ Common Signs of weak Iman

The phenomenon of weak Iman has become very widespread among Muslims, and many people complain about the hardness of their hearts.

So often we hear words like, I feel the hardness in my heart, I do not find any joy in worship, Reading Quran does not move me, and I fall into sin so easily.

The effects of this affliction can be seen in many people and this problem is the cause of every disaster and adversity, as mentioned in the Glorious Quran:

He (Allah) does not change the state of anyone till we change our state of goodness ourselves (Quran 13:11).

So it’s time for every believer to check his heart, find out the nature and cause of the problem, and start treating it straight away, before it overwhelms him and destroys him.

The matter is of the utmost seriousness, for Allah has warned us against the heart that is hardened, closed, sick, blind and sealed.

Below follows some of the symptoms of a weak Iman, what causes it and how it may be dealt with.

Falling into sins is a Sign of weak Iman

There are some sinners who commit a particular sin and prevail in it. And some who commit many kinds of sin. When you commit a sin or sins, it becomes a habit which you get used to, and then you no longer feel that it is Offensive to the mind. You gradually reach a stage at which you commit the sin openly, and thus, becomes one of those referred to in the hadith that:

All of my Ummah will be fine except for those who commit sin openly, an example of which is a man who does something at night, and when morning comes and Allah has concealed his sin, he says, ‘O so and so, I did such and such yesterday.’ His Lord had covered his sin all night, but he has uncovered what Allah had concealed.” (Bukhari)

Not worshipping Allah properly

Signs of weak Iman

Is your mind wondering and fails to concentrate properly in Salah, reading the Quran, making du’a, or other acts of worship? This is a sign of a weak Iman.

When someone with a weak Iman worships, he doesn’t think or ponder about what is being said, he does everything as a matter of boring habit. Even if he worships at all, he does it with empty movement, devoid of any real feeling.

All that which is considered worship needs much attention. Are you praying a particular du’a at some particular times? Be serious about it; think about the meaning of what you are saying because the prophet says, “Allah does not accept the du’a of one whose heart is heedless of Him” (al-Tirmidhi)

This also includes neglecting to participate in special Islamic occasions and worships. This shows clearly that the person has no interest in earning rewards, so he may delay going for Hajj even though he is able to do so, or failing to go for congregational prayers or even Salaat al-Jumu’ah.

The Holy Prophet of Allah mentioned that “People will keep holding back from being in the first row of (congregational prayers) until Allah throws them into the Fire”. (Abu Dawood).

Did you find yourself missing obligatory prayers or Sunnah prayer that is strongly encouraged without feeling any guilt? If so, then it’s time to revise your faith.

Lack of patience

Signs of weak Iman

A little tiredness or depression makes the weak Muslim quick to complain about the slightest thing. He easily gets angry or upset with the people around him and no longer has any tolerance.

The Holy Prophet (pbuh) described faith when he said, “Eeman is patience and tolerance”, and he described the believer as being “one who makes friends and with whom others feel comfortable. There is no goodness in one who does not make friends and with whom others do not feel comfortable.”

Hard-hearted when it comes to the Holy Quran

Signs of weak Iman

Your Eeman is weak if you are not being moved by the Aayaats of the Holy Qur’an, by its promises of Paradise or its warnings of Hel, by its commands or by its prohibitions. Those who are weak in faith gets board when they hear the recitation of the Holy Quran.

Lack of focus in dhikr

Signs of weak Iman

Those with weak Eeman fail to focus on Allah when remembering Him (dhikr) or making du’a. The remembrance of Allah becomes difficult for such people, and when they raise their hands to make du’a, they quickly lower them again. Allah has described the hypocrites in the Holy Quran, He says: “… and they do not remember Allah but little.” (Quran 4:142)

Not feeling angry when sins are committed

The one with a weak Eeman doesn’t feel any anger when the limits set by Allah are violated because the flame of zeal has been extinguished in his heart, so he no longer takes action to stop any evil, or enjoins evildoers to do good, or denounces wrongdoing.

The weak Muslim never gets angry for the sake of Allah. Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) described this by saying: “The heart will be subjected to trial after trial, and there will appear a black stain on any heart that is affected, which will spread until the heart is completely black and sealed, as it were, so that it will not recognize any good deed or denounce any evil, except whatever suits its own desires” (Muslim)

Love of good and hatred of evil have disappeared from a heart of the weak Muslim; all things are equal to such a person, and he has no motive to enjoin good or forbid evil.

Not practising what one preaches

Signs of weak Iman

Allah says: “O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do? Most hateful is it with Allah that you say that which you do not do.. (Quran 61:2-3].

No doubt this is a kind of hypocrisy, and the person whose deeds do not match his words is blameworthy before Allah and despicable in the eyes of his fellow man. The people of Hellfire will soon discover the reality of the one who enjoins good but does not do it, and forbids evil but does it himself.

Happy to see others down

Signs of weak Iman

Malicious enjoyment of the failures, losses or disasters suffered by one’s brothers in Islam, when the blessings that they had enjoyed are taken away, or when the thing that made another person appear more distinguished than him is gone.

Fear and panic when disaster strikes or problems arise.

So you will see such a person shaking and losing his equilibrium, with no focus, staring wild-eyed and having no idea what to do when faced with calamity. He is ruled by his fears and can see no way out; he cannot face reality with a strong and steady heart. All of this is the result of weak faith, or if his faith was strong he would be steadfast and he would face the worst disasters with calmness and strength.

Love of fame and prominence

Signs of weak Iman

The desire for leadership without understanding the responsibility involved. This is what the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) warned us against when he said, “You will be very keen to be leaders, but you will regret it on the Day of Resurrection, for although it seems easy in the beginning, it becomes a hardship later on. (The meaning is that at the beginning, leadership brings wealth, power and enjoyment, but later it brings the risk of being assassinated or deposed, and one will be brought to account on the Day of Resurrection).” (Reported by al-Bukhari, no. 6729).

The Prophet (pbuh) also said: If you wish, I could tell you about leadership and what it is. Firstly, it is blame; secondly, it is regret; and thirdly, it is punishment on the Day of Resurrection. Except for one who is just… (Reported by al- Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, 18/72; Saheeh al-Jaami., 1420).

If it was the case that a man wanted to carry out duties and responsibilities, where there is no one better for the job than him, with the intention of doing his best and being sincere and just, as Yusuf (peace be upon him) did, then we could say that this is fair enough. But in most cases it is the matter of a strong desire to lead and put oneself forward although there is a better person, denying the opportunity of leadership to those who are qualified and want to be the only one to issue instructions and prohibitions.

Excessive arguing and disputing.

The Prophet (pbuh) said in a Sahih hadith: “No people will go astray after having being guided except that they become argumentative… (Reported by Ahmad in al-Musnad, 5/252; Saheeh al-Jaami., 5633).

Arguing with no proof and for no good reason leads one far away from the Straight Path, and most people’s futile arguments nowadays are conducted without knowledge or guidance or (reference to) a Book giving light (i.e., the Qur’an). We have sufficient motive to avoid futile arguments in the words of the Prophet (pbuh): “I guarantee a house in the outskirts of Paradise to the one who forsakes argument even when he is on the right.” (Reported by Abu Dawood, 5/150; Sahih al-Jami., 1464).

Attachment to this world and rejoicing in it

weak Iman

A person may be so attached to this world that he feels pain if he misses out on some share of it, such as money, power, authority, or housing. He feels that he is unfairly treated because he has not got what others have. He feels more stress when he sees a brother in Islam who has something of this world that he does not have, so he envies him (hasad) and wishes that he will lose that blessing.

See Also: Love for Dunya and Neglect of Aakhirah

This goes against Eeman, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Eeman and hasad do not exist together in the heart of the true slave.. (Reported by Abu Dawood, 5/150; Sahih al-Jami., 1464).

Alhamdulillah, the above are some of the sings of a weak Iman. If you know of any, please share it in the comments below.

And Allah knows best.