Are you a single Muslim?
Being single form part of everyone’s life, it could be part or throughout life. However, it comes with lots of temptations, fears and worldly influence for many Muslims.
It is for sure that our faith as Muslims encourages early marriage among young people to escape the temptations involved. Others took full advantage of this, by the time they got to experience what singleness is meant, they aren’t single any longer.
What about my brother or sister who for his/her own reasons want to leave a single life for some time or waiting for Allah[swt]’s time? What is it like to be a single Muslim without falling into the pit of dilemmas and temptations that come with singleness, whether man or woman?
It is obvious that being single comes with challenges. You’ll have to spend years fighting against an invisible enemy who disregards Allah[swt] glory and seeks to detour you away from His good and perfect will. You’ll be tempted to follow the world’s ways, to forsake the desire of your own heart to be cherished, and most importantly, to forsake Allah Almighty.
Truly speaking, to be free from all these unhappy situations, and maintain your happiness and righteousness in every moment of your single life, it is imperative that you possess a thorough and profound understanding of yourself and your situation, and how to maintain discipline over it. Stay with me as I explain to you how the Holy Quran and Sunnah of our Beloved want you to happily deal with singleness without crossing the line.
Understand your condition from Allah [swt] perspective
If Allah[swt] should aid you, no one can overcome you; but if He should forsake you, who is there that can aid you after Him? And upon Allah[swt] let the believers rely. (Quran 3:160)
Your perspective about yourself defines many things about how you react to life’s situations. So first of all, you need to know that your life as a Muslim is ultimately guided by someone. Though it is simple, it isn’t always easy to grasp this concept. However, nothing can compare to the joy that will embrace you as you get to know your condition in Allah[swt]’s perspective.
Are you single by your choice, the choice of others (divorced), or by the circumstances of your life, Allah[swt] is deeply aware of you. It is stated in the Glorious Quran:
“And indeed We have created man, and we know what his self whispers to him. And we are nearer to him than his jugular vein.” (Quran 50:16)
If you have ever looked into a broken Mirror, you will only see a distorted image of yourself. But upon seeing that you’re messed-up in the mirror, you never pay any attention to it because you know your face isn’t messed, it’s the mirror that isn’t clear.
In the same way, you should forget the world’s broken mirror and look into the accurate mirror of Allah[swt] to discern the truth. Stay focused in what Allah [swt] has enjoined and forget all that He[swt] has forbidden.
Seek Direction within the Muslim Community
“… and fear Allah[swt] through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship)…” (Al-Nisa’ 4:1)
The Muslim community is the source for much of both our physical and spiritual growth as happy Muslims. Allah[swt] calls us to these vibrant communities within our families and within the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet[saw].
As a single Muslim, this community is one of the best means for making a potential spouse and receiving guidance and support needed for Marriage. Even in today’s world of online dating, marriage experts still see matches made by friends, family and the Muslim communities to be among the best.
Therefore, get connected to families. Feeling detached and alone serves a very comfortable means for the devil to defeat you. You need to be around others, such as families and good friends who you can develop deep and helpful relationships with, and spend time with them at meals, with their kids, outings, etc. Bring them into your life; that way you will be kept engaged with much love and happiness.
Use this as a chance to grow
As at now, single Muslim adults who lay more respect on Allah [saw] command might have felt the weight of loneliness like never before. However, it is possible to make your loneliness a means to grow a happy life and to come closer to Allah[swt] rather than seeking His wrath for the sake of your desires.
If you’ve been married but now single due to certain conditions, then you should use this as a chance to heal. Use this moment to focus on healing from past hurts and also working on your own areas of weakness.
Singleness also can serve you better in living a pure lifestyle that can prepare you for a good partner in the future. It is obvious in today’s world that remaining sexually pure is the greatest challenge among young people. However, in our case as happy and good Muslims, that’s not true because we value what Allah[swt] wills than our desires.
Single purity should prepare you for a blessed marriage. Also, you can think of this moment as an investment in the welfare of your future marriage. Meanwhile, every single Muslim should also bear it in mind that whether they marry in the future or not, sexual purity is an awesome reflection of their relationship with Allah[swt] as the Quran asserted:
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze, and protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily, Allah[swt] is All-Aware of what they do.” (Quran 24:30)
Seek Guidance from Allah[swt] Almighty through Dua and zikr
The prophet[saw] said, “Allah [swt] said, ‘I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am. I am with him when he mentions Me. If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself; and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it. If he draws near to Me a hand’s length, I draw near to him an arm’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.’” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)
You need to realize that Allah[swt]’s help is nearer than you think. His help will surely reach you once you turn to Him and ask Him with patience.
See Also: A Touching Advice for Young Muslims
Discover and deal with the roots of your singleness with prayer. If you want to get married, yet it hasn’t happened for you, your single situation could be due to unfinished business within your personal life. For instance, there may be some basic trust issues, fears of intimacy or tendency to allow others to control you in the case of a lady. Issues like this affect not only singleness but one’s entire life.
To deal with it in a successful way, you need to get into the spiritual growth process and begin to discover the personal struggles that may have kept you single longer than you desired for. In fact, it is possible that Allah[swt] can turn the pain of possible betrayal and loneliness into an incredible time of spiritual, emotional and relational growth.
Perhaps there are unique factors in your life that you have never before, or will never again experience. It’s easier said than done, but why not pray and ask Allah[swt] if there is something He wants to build into you or if there is some help around the corner. Allah Almighty’s mercy will surely embrace you soon as stated in the Glorious Quran:
“And when My servants ask you (O Muhammad concerning Me, then answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My Knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor). So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright” (Quran 2:186)
BOOK LINK: Enjoy Your Life by Dr. Muhammad Al-‘Areefi
In fact, you must be content with what Allah[swt] has apportioned for you now because He has a reason for everything he does.
Yes, you have to enjoy life to the fullest! Beware of allowing your singleness to impact on your behavior as a happy Muslim. Have fun as a single person, whether it is a temporary or permanent condition. You have more freedom than married people though, use it to grow and invest in your future or future Marriage.
Always turn and look at the bright aspect of your single life before looking at the dark aspect and you will surely be happy Insha-Allah.
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