Categories
Non-Muslims

Valentine’s Day celebration in Islam– Accepted or Not (Let’s find out now.)

After the zeal of many Muslims trying to figure out whether it is lawful in Islam to take part in Christmas, celebrating birthdays and others, here comes another, Valentine’s Day celebration.

Basically known as the celebration of love and romance among friends and loved once.

After I Googled this Valentine thing, I found out that it is something Muslims shouldn’t think about.

In actual fact, considering the background and history of this celebration, and the way people go about it now, there is no need to hesitate in saying NO to it.

Some people will always deny the truth without any valid proof, they will rather claim that some of these practices like birthdays, Valentine and the likes no longer have any religious significance (despite the fact that it is most of the ancient rituals that are being disguised in today’s celebrations)

Can Muslim couples who are legally married celebrate Valentine’s Day?

As a matter of fact, Valentine’s celebration can never be something Islam can tolerate even if you are a couple.

If you really need a very short answer to this question, then it is NO.

However, if you want to learn more detail then keep gliding down the page.

Let’s see what the World Book Encyclopedia tells us regarding Valentine’s Day:

“The customs connected with the day …probably come from an ancient Roman festival called Lupercalia which took place every February 15. The festival honored Juno, the Roman goddess of women and marriage, and Pan, the god of nature” (1973, vol. 20, p. 204).

Actually, there are many different stories concerning this particular topic, but still, the primary concept is firm.

Let’s continue with what the research got for us. From a site called United Church of God with URL ucg.org, I obtained the following commentaries on valentine.

“For the people of ancient Rome, the festival of Lupercalia was an annual ritual believed to ward off evil spirits and increase fertility. Lupercalia (also known as Februatio, from which comes the month name February) was popular among many of the new converts to the fast-rising Catholic Church.

As the book Celebrations: The Complete Book of American Holidays notes, “Everywhere that [mainstream] Christians came into power they immediately adapted the holidays and customs of the people to their own creed” (Robert Myers and Hallmark Cards editors, 1972, pp. 50-51).

Such was their course of action with this festival of Lupercalia at the end of the fifth century. While Pope Gelasius officially condemned the pagan Roman festival and banned its observance, many of its accompanying practices quickly appeared in a newly established holiday added by him to the official church list of feast days in A.D. 496—St. Valentine’s Day.

Soon, people were no longer looking to obtain fertility by being beaten with strips of animal skin called februa. Instead, they turned their focus to St. Valentine, the patron saint of “engaged couples and anyone wishing to marry” (Celebrations, pp. 48-49), whose actual identity is even murkier than what connection he bore to romance.

What amounted to a renamed, refurbished Lupercalia then picked up steam, gradually adapting itself into the Valentine’s Day we know today, which included the added elements of Valentine cards and Cupid, the Roman god of erotic love.

We now have a basic concept of the celebration of Valentine’s Day.

Friendship and sending cards to our legal loved ones have never been something bad in Islam, in fact, they are wonderful if done in the right way.

Allah did not oppose romance either, provided it is at the right time and in the right way.

But does the pagan religious history of Valentine’s Day taint our practice as Muslims?

What does Allah say about observing pagan traditions, disguised or not?

Surah al-Kafirun, Chapter 109 verse 1 to 6

  1. Say: “O disbelievers!”
  2. “I worship not that which you worship.”
  3. “Nor will you worship whom I worship.”
  4. “And I shall not worship that which you are worshipping.”
  5. “Nor will you worship that which I worship.”
  6. “To you be your religion, and to me my religion.”

I really like the way this surah was revealed.

Our beloved Prophet (pbuh) in fact was sent as a mercy for mankind. He lived such an exemplary lifestyle that we can follow even till now, even till the end of time.

This verse was revealed as a result of similar issues we are discussing today.

It has been said that in their ignorance (ie disbelievers), they invited the Messenger of Allah to worship their idols for a year and they would (in turn) worship his God for a year. Therefore, Allah revealed this Surah.

Allah sent Prophets to this world to guide us on the right path.

This means that there is no (true) object of worship except Allah and there is no path to Him (i.e., way of worshipping Him) other than that which the Messenger came with.

He commanded His Messenger to disavow himself from their religion

It is also narrated in so many Hadiths, some of which says:

“Whoever imitates a people is from them” (Sunan Abu Dawud)

Also:

Abu Sa’id al−Khudri reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying:

You would tread the same path as was trodden by those before you inch by inch and step by step so much so that if they had entered into the hole of the lizard, you would follow them in this also.

We said: Allah’s Messenger, do you mean Jews and Christians (by your words)” those before you”?

He said: Who else (than those two religious groups)?

[Sahih Muslim Book 33, Number 6448:]

In the actual fact, the above verses and hadiths indicate that this practice and its type remain just as detestable as they have been in the side of Allah.

Instead of pagan practices and activities like Valentine’s Day, Christmas celebration, new year celebration and all you can think of, our focus should be on the two main festivals Allah has given us in the Quran which point us toward His amazing and incomparable plan for all humanity.

Yes, from the background and history of Valentine’s Day, we could clearly see that this satanic practice of Lupercalia has been repackaged and disguises as a normal activity, making it seem as if there is nothing evil about showing love to your spouse during valentine.

And also, there is no place in the bible that mentioned such thing like a valentine. This was practiced already until Romans become Christians.

Let’s listen to what is stated in the Bible concerning the celebration of pagan tradition:

When the Lord, your God cuts off from before you the nations which you go to dispossess …do not inquire after their gods, ‘saying, How did these nations served their gods? I also will do likewise.’ You shall not worship the Lord your God in that way for every abomination to the Lord which He hates they have done to their gods … Whatever I command you, be careful to observe it; you shall not add to it nor take away from it [Deuteronomy 12:29-23]

It is very clear from the above verses that the Bible also forbids practices of the tradition of the disbelievers.

But as a matter of fact, they (Christians) practiced this Valentine the most. They see to it as something normal to an extent they make that day a holiday for themselves.

Dear Muslims, we are completely different.

We are the Ummah of the Man who brought light to this world, the man who was sent as a Mercy for the whole of humanity.

He said He is proud of us so let’s show to the world that we are indeed the best among them.

Let’s do away with their activities, let’s not follow their footsteps as the Prophet mentioned.

Let’s live as good Muslims and die as good Muslims, I think that’s the only way you and I can be saved.

Categories
Relationships and Marriage

Dating In Islam – What are the Rules? Halal or Haram?

Is dating in Islam Haram or Halal? What are the rules to have a halal relationship? If you want answers to these questions, you’ll love this post.

Updated: How to Date in Islam (Courtship)

Despite the fact that dating is a new practice in the history of humanity, the Quran and Sunnah do talk specifically about it.

Islam was sent for the whole of humanity and thus addresses all matters under all situations at any time in considerable detail, (Thanks to Allah for his unique excellence).

As an Islamic blogger, I normally stumble on questions relating to dating and friendship between males and females, boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, physical intimacy, and a whole lot of related questions.

I am glad you’re looking for Quran and Hadith guidance to these doubts rather than figuring out the whole dating thing all by yourself or depending on what the world tells you to do (Quran 7:52).

In this blog post, you’ll find out how Allah and His Messenger want you to deal with relationships with others of the opposite gender.

So that seekers may understand the topic well (By Allah’s Permission), I will cover this issue under different questions relating to different aspects and then go through the answers to get things clarified (Insha-Allah).

Presented below are some of the most common dating questions and I will be adding more Insha’Allah.

But wait, if you have a personal and specific question about relationships and situations in your life, don’t hesitate to send me your questions through the contact page, or just comment it below if you don’t mine. Be sure to read what is here though; your question may have already been answered (Insha-Allah).

Dating In Islam

Am I ready to start dating or courting?

To avoid the temptation of Zina (Fornication), Islam encourages marriage at a young age. Therefore, it is completely normal to start a relationship at the age of puberty, however, it is not compulsory.

Thus, reaching the age of puberty should not be considered as the only criterion for deciding the right age to start a relationship.

There are other important factors such as the overall maturity of a person plus his or her ability to anticipate what is good or bad, such that his or her ability to personal agreement and disagreements in important decisions of life becomes valid.

Therefore, How young is too early to start a relationship depends on the individual’s level of maturity, goals, and beliefs.

As for the holiest and greatest Prophet (peace be upon him), he said (Makaarimul Akhlaq):

“Oh youths, whosoever among you can marry, he should do so because marriage protects your eyes (from indulging in sin by looking lustfully at others in privacy).

Therefore, as a young Muslim, whenever you decide to begin a romantic relationship, that’s exactly the right time for you.

Always remember that you are never too young to begin this exciting process as long as you can bear the responsibility involved.

Stay focused and not let anyone look down on you because you are young.

Are Muslims allowed to date at all?

This is indeed a very common question among Muslim youth today.

In fact, prior to publishing this article, I have also spent a reasonable amount of time racking my brain trying to figure this one out for myself.

Well, you see, the answer everyone had after asking this question is a BIG NO.

Why is the answer always NO but not the interesting answer we want to hear?

Why does Islam hate dating among unmarried people so much?

Before I can answer these questions, first tell me why you want to date?

  • Is it to take away some of the personal loneliness? (Very Common)
  • Is it to get you to be seen by your peers as someone who is modern and cool?
  • Is it to get you out of restrictions imposed on you by religion and culture that you didn’t choose for yourself?
  • Is it to make you feel not left out if many others around you are doing the same thing?
  • Is it to make you feel better about yourself knowing someone ‘really’ likes you?
  • Or maybe do you think it’s obviously fun?

Well, the list can still continue, but there’s just no time for that.

If it happens your reason to date a girl or boy falls within these cheap desires, then am afraid, Islam can’t tolerate it and you really deserve the BIG NO answer.

All these intentions have been conditioned into our minds against our will through the influences of societies outside the Muslim society.

If you want a yes answer to this question then you have to change your intentions because our actions are judged by our intentions.

This then brings us to the next question.

Why should Muslims Date?

This particular commentary will not only answer why Muslims should date but will also answer all those who wonder how they can get married without dating.

And yes! I wanted to tell you earlier, but I decided to wait until now. To tell you the real meaning of dating and why Islam prefers the word courtship but not dating.

Most of the time, this is the reason why scholars say no to dating in Islam because they knew what it means and the dangers that come hand in hand with it that Islam is protecting us from.

Courtship is allowed, unlike the dating, we know today.

Others may call it dating, but we Muslims prefer the word “courting” because, while a date by definition usually contains “New encounters”, “Good times” and “Sex”(the worse thing), courtship has different priorities altogether.

To make it simple for my readers, courtship prepares you for marriage but dating doesn’t and the reason is simple: when two people say they are dating, they have no marriage intention now order than to fulfill each other’s cheap desires which is a sin in Islam.

There are those who will always say they will do all means to avoid Zina/fornication during the process of dating.

This is my question for them. Can you make a guarantee about the future? Even if it is a little chance of events that can lead to Zina, would you be honest with yourself to say it would never happen?

We all know that it’s only Allah who knows the future; that is why we don’t take risks in our life. Our ears and eyes are limited so is our knowledge which gives a very convincing reason why we can’t be certain about the future.

It is sometimes very easy to say certain things while we are at peace and full of content. The real test comes when the situation unfolds itself.

So my dear Muslim brothers and sisters, let us shrink away from the dating thing in praise of courtship because that’s how we can become safe from its temptations.

Let’s embrace dating for marriage and do away from dating for fun, but how can we do that, what are the steps one can follow in the courting process. This brings us to the next point.

How should Muslims Date/Court in Islam?

Exploring the principles for halal dating from Sunnah of our Beloved Prophet will set men and women on a course towards Islamic centered Marriages.

We are in the era, we already found ourselves in this dark journey in the time of darkness. We only need the best guidance that ever existed in the history of mankind, that’s the Sunnah of our Beloved, Prophet Mohammed (SAW).

Explaining the guidelines for dating for the righteous Muslims will alter lives keeping people out of toxic and unhealthy relationships that Islam forbid.

Most importantly, these principles and guidelines will transform many lives of our Muslim youth as dating is one of the common weapons Satan uses to encourage Zina, which is one of the major sins in Islam that easily lure people away from the mercy of Allah.

This is therefore incredibly an important matter.

Let me make it so clear that these principles and guidelines need more attention and research which I am yet to look into. For this reason, I will briefly state some points here and then develop them later in a completely new article on its own.

Updated: How to date in Islam Explained

  • Start with a good intention

In fact, everything including even performing ablution needs to begin with an intention, not just an intention but a good one.

As for the Holiest Prophet, He mentioned in a hadith that:

(The value of) an action depends on the intention behind it (Sahih Muslim, Book 20, Number 4692)

If you are a Muslim, there is no valid reason to engage in a relationship without a trajectory towards marriage.

And it simply means that dating with a purpose.

That’s dating someone who meets the values and goals you have for a future spouse, in order to avoid many relationships before getting married and to avoid the temptation of sin.

  • Don’t choose a non-Muslim to date

I intentionally bring this point because of my dear ladies. For men, there seems not to be any problem with that.

You want to know why? Well, “Islam is to prevail and not to be prevailed over” as the Prophet said.

It simply means that the man is in a position of leadership over the woman, and it is not permissible for a non-Muslim to be in a position of leadership over a Muslim woman, because Islam is now the only true religion and all other religions in our time are false.

Marriage is an act of worship not only for loving sake but also for pleasing Allah.

  • Don’t spend time alone together with the other person for long

You are not yet married.

We all know that spending time alone with a non-mahram friend of the opposite gender isn’t a wise thing to do.

I know, you may be old friends. Even with the intention of getting married soon. But my point is, it’s not just worth the risk.

So always be careful. Always make sure that the date does not occur unless there is a Mahram present.

  • Make the decision if both of you really like each other (Marriage)

Wow! It’s time for me to wrap up as I have left with nothing to say again.

But take this advice for good.

Dating or courting (or whatever you wish to call it) can be a wonderful way to solidify an already super strong friendship if your parents have given the go-ahead or blessings.

Allah is at the center that’s why you are both ready to step it up though. If you want to make it a long-lasting and God-honoring union with your best friend, then that is when you know it’s time to come out bold (marry) and start a romance.

Ask Allah for guidance when you are in doubt and be prepared to trust and obey Him.

Allah loves us and He does not want our downfall in life. He may not give us what we seek because He knows the negative and positive results of our truest desire.

Sometimes it could be a “No” or “Not now”; keep that in mind with patience as you seek guidance from Him alone.

Don’t forget Quran chapter 3 verse 159 which says:

“…when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).