Updated: How to Date in Islam (Courtship)

Despite the fact that dating is a new practice in the history of humanity, the Quran and Sunnah do talk specifically about it.

Islam was sent for the whole of humanity and thus addresses all matters under all situations at any time in considerable detail, (Thanks to Allah for his unique excellence).

As an Islamic blogger, I normally stumble on questions relating to dating and friendship between males and females, boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, physical intimacy, and a whole lot of related questions.

I am glad you’re looking for Quran and Hadith guidance to these doubts rather than figuring out the whole dating thing all by yourself or depending on what the world tells you to do (Quran 7:52).

In this blog post, you’ll find out how Allah and His Messenger want you to deal with relationships with others of the opposite gender.

So that seekers may understand the topic well (By Allah’s Permission), I will cover this issue under different questions relating to different aspects and then go through the answers to get things clarified (Insha-Allah).

Presented below are some of the most common dating questions and I will be adding more Insha’Allah.

But wait, if you have a personal and specific question about relationships and situations in your life, don’t hesitate to send me your questions through the contact page, or just comment it below if you don’t mine. Be sure to read what is here though; your question may have already been answered (Insha-Allah).

Am I ready to start dating or courting?

To avoid the temptation of Zina (Fornication), Islam encourages marriage at a young age. Therefore, it is completely normal to start a relationship at the age of puberty, however, it is not compulsory.

Thus, reaching the age of puberty should not be considered as the only criterion for deciding the right age to start a relationship.

There are other important factors such as the overall maturity of a person plus his or her ability to anticipate what is good or bad, such that his or her ability to personal agreement and disagreements in important decisions of life becomes valid.

Therefore, How young is too early to start a relationship depends on the individual’s level of maturity, goals, and beliefs.

As for the holiest and greatest Prophet (peace be upon him), he said (Makaarimul Akhlaq):

“Oh youths, whosoever among you can marry, he should do so because marriage protects your eyes (from indulging in sin by looking lustfully at others in privacy).

Therefore, as a young Muslim, whenever you decide to begin a romantic relationship, that’s exactly the right time for you.

Always remember that you are never too young to begin this exciting process as long as you can bear the responsibility involved.

Stay focused and not let anyone look down on you because you are young.

Are Muslims allowed to date at all?

This is indeed a very common question among Muslim youth today.

In fact, prior to publishing this article, I have also spent a reasonable amount of time racking my brain trying to figure this one out for myself.

Well, you see, the answer everyone had after asking this question is a BIG NO.

Why is the answer always NO but not the interesting answer we want to hear?

Why does Islam hate dating among unmarried people so much?

Before I can answer these questions, first tell me why you want to date?

• Is it to take away some of the personal loneliness? (Very Common)
• Is it to get you to be seen by your peers as someone who is modern and cool?
• Is it to get you out of restrictions imposed on you by religion and culture that you didn’t choose for yourself?
• Is it to make you feel not left out if many others around you are doing the same thing?
• Is it to make you feel better about yourself knowing someone ‘really’ likes you?
• Or maybe do you think it’s obviously fun?

Well, the list can still continue, but there’s just no time for that.

If it happens your reason to date a girl or boy falls within these cheap desires, then am afraid, Islam can’t tolerate it and you really deserve the BIG NO answer.

All these intentions have been conditioned into our minds against our will through the influences of societies outside the Muslim society.

If you want a yes answer to this question then you have to change your intentions because our actions are judged by our intentions.

This then brings us to the next question.

Why should Muslims Date?

This particular commentary will not only answer why Muslims should date but will also answer all those who wonder how they can get married without dating.

And yes! I wanted to tell you earlier, but I decided to wait until now. To tell you the real meaning of dating and why Islam prefers the word courtship but not dating.

Most of the time, this is the reason why scholars say no to dating in Islam because they knew what it means and the dangers that come hand in hand with it that Islam is protecting us from.

Courtship is allowed, unlike the dating, we know today.

Others may call it dating, but we Muslims prefer the word “courting” because, while a date by definition usually contains “New encounters”, “Good times” and “Sex”(the worse thing), courtship has different priorities altogether.

To make it simple for my readers, courtship prepares you for marriage but dating doesn’t and the reason is simple: when two people say they are dating, they have no marriage intention now order than to fulfill each other’s cheap desires which is a sin in Islam.

There are those who will always say they will do all means to avoid Zina/fornication during the process of dating.

This is my question for them. Can you make a guarantee about the future? Even if it is a little chance of events that can lead to Zina, would you be honest with yourself to say it would never happen?

We all know that it’s only Allah who knows the future; that is why we don’t take risks in our life. Our ears and eyes are limited so is our knowledge which gives a very convincing reason why we can’t be certain about the future.

It is sometimes very easy to say certain things while we are at peace and full of content. The real test comes when the situation unfolds itself.

So my dear Muslim brothers and sisters, let us shrink away from the dating thing in praise of courtship because that’s how we can become safe from its temptations.

Let’s embrace dating for marriage and do away from dating for fun, but how can we do that, what are the steps one can follow in the courting process. This brings us to the next point.

How should Muslims Date/Court in Islam?

Exploring the principles for halal dating from Sunnah of our Beloved Prophet will set men and women on a course towards Islamic centered Marriages.

We are in the era, we already found ourselves in this dark journey in the time of darkness. We only need the best guidance that ever existed in the history of mankind, that’s the Sunnah of our Beloved, Prophet Mohammed (SAW).

Explaining the guidelines for dating for the righteous Muslims will alter lives keeping people out of toxic and unhealthy relationships that Islam forbid.

Most importantly, these principles and guidelines will transform many lives of our Muslim youth as dating is one of the common weapons Satan uses to encourage Zina, which is one of the major sins in Islam that easily lure people away from the mercy of Allah.

This is therefore incredibly an important matter.

Let me make it so clear that these principles and guidelines need more attention and research which I am yet to look into. For this reason, I will briefly state some points here and then develop them later in a completely new article on its own.

Updated: How to date in Islam Explained

• Start with a good intention

In fact, everything including even performing ablution needs to begin with an intention, not just an intention but a good one.

As for the Holiest Prophet, He mentioned in a hadith that:

(The value of) an action depends on the intention behind it (Sahih Muslim, Book 20, Number 4692)

If you are a Muslim, there is no valid reason to engage in a relationship without a trajectory towards marriage.

And it simply means that dating with a purpose.

That’s dating someone who meets the values and goals you have for a future spouse, in order to avoid many relationships before getting married and to avoid the temptation of sin.

• Don’t choose a non-Muslim to date

I intentionally bring this point because of my dear ladies. For men, there seems not to be any problem with that.

You want to know why? Well, “Islam is to prevail and not to be prevailed over” as the Prophet said.

It simply means that the man is in a position of leadership over the woman, and it is not permissible for a non-Muslim to be in a position of leadership over a Muslim woman, because Islam is now the only true religion and all other religions in our time are false.

Marriage is an act of worship not only for loving sake but also for pleasing Allah.

• Don’t spend time alone together with the other person for long

You are not yet married.

We all know that spending time alone with a non-mahram friend of the opposite gender isn’t a wise thing to do.

I know, you may be old friends. Even with the intention of getting married soon. But my point is, it’s not just worth the risk.

So always be careful. Always make sure that the date does not occur unless there is a Mahram present.

• Make the decision if both of you really like each other (Marriage)

Wow! It’s time for me to wrap up as I have left with nothing to say again.

But take this advice for good.

Dating or courting (or whatever you wish to call it) can be a wonderful way to solidify an already super strong friendship if your parents have given the go-ahead or blessings.

Allah is at the center that’s why you are both ready to step it up though. If you want to make it a long-lasting and God-honoring union with your best friend, then that is when you know it’s time to come out bold (marry) and start a romance.

Ask Allah for guidance when you are in doubt and be prepared to trust and obey Him.

Allah loves us and He does not want our downfall in life. He may not give us what we seek because He knows the negative and positive results of our truest desire.

Sometimes it could be a “No” or “Not now”; keep that in mind with patience as you seek guidance from Him alone.

Don’t forget Quran chapter 3 verse 159 which says:

“…when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).

The post Dating In Islam – What are the Rules? Halal or Haram? appeared first on Seekers Elite.

Upon all the questions I get from all over, there is this one common question that never interests me to answer. It begins with the “M” letter. I know you already know it’s masturbation!

Well, it interests me now as I seem not to find a very clear answer on the internet that seekers are looking for.

I would like to take the easy approach and just say “If in doubt, please don’t do it”. That’s one of my favorite hadith though, reported by Hasan Ibn Ali that the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him said:

“Leave what makes you doubt for what does not make you doubt. Verily, truth brings peace of mind and falsehood sows doubt.” – Sunan Al-Tirmidhi 2581

[clickToTweet tweet=”“Leave what makes you doubt for what doesn’t make you doubt. Truth brings peace of mind and falsehood sows doubt.”” quote=”“Leave what makes you doubt for what does not make you doubt. Verily, truth brings peace of mind and falsehood sows doubt.” – Sunan Al-Tirmidhi 2581″ theme=”style3″]

You can only find goodness in a peace of mind. As for doubts, it comes only with evil. May Allah Protect us!

This might seem a little personal, but I must admit that I like this particular hadith so much. The first time I read it on my phone app I was awesomely filled with excitement of its wisdom.

The fact is that many of us masturbate and feel horribly guilty about it. This is my first answer for you if you wonder whether masturbation can be practiced in Islam. Guilt feelings naturally come when you feel you did something wrong.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Guilt is a gift from Allah warning you that what you are doing is violating your soul – Nouman Ali Khan” quote=”Guilt is a gift from Allah warning you that what you are doing is violating your soul – Nouman Ali Khan” theme=”style2″]

We agonized so much about this act and finally pleaded with Allah. But then we’d find ourselves, again and again, falling into the same act. Can’t you notice the signs of Satan in this?

As we all should know, Satan will only push you do commit something which will destroy you unnoticed. Beware!

Masturbation is only triggered as a result of lust. And we all should know that sin is a result of lust (wrong selfish desire). This fact alone forms the primary basis for making things clear.

When we read from the holy Quran, Allah said:

وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا ۖ إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا

And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.” Quran- 17:32

Some will not think enough and just conclude that masturbation is allowed since they can’t find a particular verse that reads “Masturbation is a sin in Islam”.

Well, Allah mentioned this too in the Glorious Quran by saying:

وَلِيَعْلَمَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْعِلْمَ أَنَّهُ الْحَقُّ مِن رَّبِّكَ فَيُؤْمِنُوا بِهِ فَتُخْبِتَ لَهُ قُلُوبُهُمْ ۗ وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَهَادِ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِلَىٰ صِرَاطٍ مُّسْتَقِيمٍ

“Those who have knowledge are the quickest of people to understand the truth and believe in it.” (Quran al-Hajj 22:54 )

[clickToTweet tweet=”“Those who have knowledge are the quickest of people to understand the truth and believe in it.”” quote=”“Those who have knowledge are the quickest of people to understand the truth and believe in it.” (Quran al-Hajj 22:54 )”]

Now let’s think together on this verse that warns us not to come near unlawful sexual intercourse.

First of all, ask yourself these two questions;

1. What is unlawful sexual intercourse?
2. And what influences this unlawful act?

Obviously, I think we all know their answers, but let’s revise on what we already knew to the second question, what influences unlawful sexual intercourse?

The general answer is SATAN! But through what means does he do that. He fills our minds with lustful thoughts. Satan will influence you to lust sexually about almost everyone. This is a serious matter to ponder.

These thoughts then influence you physically, leading you to do something you shouldn’t have done, such as rape, fornication/adultery, and masturbation.

Now let’s highlight the reason why masturbation is also a sin in Islam just like fornication, rape or adultery.

First of all, lust is the source of our sins!

Lust will compel you to commit fornication!

Lust will compel you to commit adultery!

Lust will compel you to commit rape!

Lust will compel you to masturbate!!!

Can you now see the connection? If not, let’s also put it this way:

Allah mentioned in the Glorious Quran that we should never come near unlawful sexual intercourse. So if you are lusting sexually over people who aren’t lawful to you, it means you are approaching unlawful sex, which means you are disobeying this verse of the Holy Quran. Remember what it says, “Don’t come near”.

[clickToTweet tweet=”And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.” Quran- 17:32″ quote=”And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.” Quran- 17:32″ theme=”style5″]

Now, lusting sexually is a sin and it leads to bigger sins like fornication, rape, and adultery. It also leads to masturbation making it also a sin. If what leads to something is a sin, then it is obvious that the thing it leads to is a sin as well, simple as that!

Moreover, masturbation is contrary to Allah’s plan for sexuality to be self-giving with love. As an act of self-pleasure focused on lust, masturbation cheats both the individual and the spouse or future spouse out of the powerful potential that Allah built into human sexuality.

We all know that intimacy was created to draw us into lawful relationships. The goal of masturbation is to drive pleasure to oneself, basically outside of relationship. For this reason, don’t you think that masturbation is selfish and misusing the gift of sex?

Can one masturbate to avoid Zina?

Regarding this particular question, a well-written answer has been answered on Islamqa, let’s just read from there Insha-Allah:

Masturbation is only permitted if a person fears that he may end up committing Zina; no doubt the prohibition on Zina is more emphatic, and it is more abhorrent and reprehensible. Hence it is permissible to commit the lesser of two evils so as to ward off the greater.

Ar-Ruhaybaani (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If a person, man or woman, masturbates with no need to do so, that action is haram and he should be given a disciplinary punishment for it, because it is a sin. But if he does it because he fears falling into Zina or homosexuality, or because he fears physical harm, then there is no punishment.

End quote from Mataalib Ooli an-Nuha Sharh Ghaayat al-Muntaha, 6/226

Al-Mirdaawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

We learn two things from this:

1. That masturbation is not permissible except in cases of necessity
2. The ruling for women on that matter is the same as the ruling for men, if a woman fears falling into Zina.

This is the correct view, as stated in al-Furoo‘.

End quote from al-Insaaf, 10/252

To make things simple, I will say, if one’s desire is so overwhelming one might perform masturbation but in that case, it will be like eating the flesh of a pig to survive from major hunger or starvation when no other food is available.

Now regarding the other evidence, let’s read again from Islamqa:

Masturbation (for both men and women) is haram (forbidden) in Islam based on the following evidence:

First from the Qur’aan:

Imam Shafi’i stated that masturbation is forbidden based on the following verses from the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning):

“And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, – for them, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors.” 23.5-7

Here the verses are clear in forbidding all illegal sexual acts (including masturbation) except for the wives or that their right hand possess. And whoever seeks beyond that is the transgressor.

“And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His bounty.” 24.33. This verse also clearly orders whoever does not have the financial means to marry to keep himself chaste and be patient in facing temptations (including masturbation) until Allah enriches them of His bounty.

Secondly, from the sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him):

Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood said, “We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allah’s Messenger said, “O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.” Bukhari:5066. The hadeeth orders men who are not able to marry to fast despite the hardship encountered in doing so, and not to masturbate despite the ease with which it can be done.

There are additional evidences that can be cited to support this ruling on masturbation, but due to the limited space we will not go through them here. Allah knows what is best and most correct.

So stop masturbation and turn to Allah. He alone understands our questions and struggles. Even in issues so embarrassing like masturbation, don’t be afraid to turn to him and ask for his forgiveness, specific direction, and wisdom.

Jazakallah Khairan Katheeran

[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

The post Why Masturbation is Haram In Islam! appeared first on Seekers Elite.

As-salamu `alaykum. If someone fasted Sunnah and had sexual intercourse with his spouse at the daytime, is he obliged to make kaffarah or is there any expiation for that? Thank you.

Answer by Dr. Wael Shihab

Wa `alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

A Muslim is highly recommended to observe optional fasts to draw himself closer to Allah. If a fasting person breaks his optional fast, he is neither required to pay an expiation nor to make up for it later. It makes no difference here how he breaks his optional fast.

Responding to your question, Dr. Wael Shihab, PhD in Islamic Studies, Al-Azhar University, and the Head of the Shari`ah Dept. of Onislam.net website, stated,

Thank you for your question.

A Muslim is recommended to fast on some days— such as Mondays, Thursdays, the day of `Arafah, etc.—in order to bring himself closer to Allah Almighty.

If a Muslim breaks an optional fast—with food, drinks, or sexual intercourse with one’s spouse—he is not liable to make any kaffarah (expiation). Also, he is not required to make up for it later.

In this context, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “A person who observes an optional fast has the authority to either complete or break his fast.” (At-Tirmidhi)

However, it may be better for a fasting person not to break his optional fast to gain its great rewards.

May Allah accept your and our good deeds!

Allah Almighty knows best.

The post Can a couple have Sexual Intercourse while Observing Optional Fast? appeared first on Seekers Elite.

Dear scholars,  as-salamu `alaykum.

Is a fasting wife allowed to sleep next to her fasting husband without the intention of sexual intercourse? Jazakum Allah khayran.

Answer by Sheikh Ahmad Kutty

Wa`alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

There is nothing wrong for husband and wife to share a bed while both of them are fasting if they have no fear of being carried away by their desires to invalidate their fast.

In his response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty states:

There is nothing wrong for you to share the bed with your wife while both of you are fasting unless, of course, you fear that by doing so you will find yourself unable to control your desires and thus be led to invalidate your fast by engaging in sexual intercourse, in which case you are best advised against it.

We read in the traditions that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was once asked by a man whether he could kiss his wife while fasting, to which he replied, no, but when another man asked him the same question he told him, yes. Explaining the reason for the divergent responses, Ibn `Abbas, one of the eminent Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“The first was a young man (and the Prophet presumed that he would be carried away by his desires and thus may end up invalidating his fast by engaging in sexual intercourse), while the second was an elderly person (who he thought was in a better position to restrain himself).”

Similarly, we also read the statement of `A’ishah, the beloved wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) use to kiss his wife while fasting, but she further added, “But who among you is able to restrain his desire as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was wont to?”

Based on the above considerations, if you are sure of yourself and have no fear of being carried away by your desires to invalidate your fast, then you are definitely allowed to sleep in the same bed with your wife while fasting.

Allah Almighty knows best.

The post Can Husband and Wife Sleep on One Bed While Fasting in Ramadan? appeared first on Seekers Elite.

Respected scholars, as-salamu `alaykum.

Is it ok to make love with my boyfriend during Ramadan; that is after we break the fast? Jazakum Allahu khayran.

Answer by Sheikh Ahmad Kutty

Wa `alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

It should be stressed that having a premarital relationship is definitely prohibited whether during Ramadan or after it. So, it is our advice, dear sister, to fear Allah, come back to Him, make use of this blessed month to change your lifestyle for better in a way that pleases Allah, and to have your sins forgiven.

In his response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states,

If you mean to ask whether you are allowed to have premarital sexual relations, the answer is definitely an emphatic no, regardless of whether one is fasting or after breaking the fast. Fornication is a most grievous sin in Islam; the sin is even graver in the month of Ramadan.

Ramadan is the month given to us to break free of all our sins and bad habits. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“When Ramadan arrives, the doors of Heaven are opened and the doors of Hell are shut down, and the devils are chained, and an announcer will say, ‘O doer of good, come forward! O doer of bad, restrain yourself!'”

So you are best advised to use this blessed month as a time to repent and change. This is a golden opportunity, and it could be the only one you have, for who knows whether Allah will give us another chance; we never know whether we will live to see another Ramadan. We see all around us people are being called back to Allah. Death knows neither age nor status. Therefore, let us heed the warning of Allah’s Messenger:

“Woe to those who witnessed Ramadan and yet failed to get their sins pardoned (by failing to utilize the month properly).”

If, however, you are married, then of course you are allowed to have intimate spousal relations after breaking the fast. Allah says,

“It is lawful for you to go in unto your wives during the night preceding the (day’s) fast: They are as a garment for you, and you are as a garment for them} (Al-Baqarah 2:187).

Allah Almighty knows best.

The post Having Premarital Relationship during Ramadan appeared first on Seekers Elite.

Jazakum Allahu khayran. Answer by Sheikh Ahmad Kutty Wa`alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger. A Muslim is allowed to have intercourse with his or her spouse after breaking the fast and until dawn (the time of abstention from food, drink, and gratifications).

However, one who is fasting should never overstep the boundaries of fasting by having intercourse with his or her spouse while fasting.

In his response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states the following:

While it is forbidden to establish any conjugal relations with one’s spouse while one is fasting during the day, one is certainly allowed to do so during the night until the arrival of dawn (i.e., fajr). Allah says:

It is made lawful for you to go to your wives (in sexual relations) on the night of the fast. They are a garment for you and you are a garment for them. Allah knows that you were deceiving yourself in this respect and He has turned in mercy towards you and pardoned you. Therefore you may now have intercourse with them and seek what Allah has ordained for you. Eat and drink until the white thread (of dawn) becomes distinct to you from the black thread (of night) (Al-Baqarah 2:187).

In short, we are allowed to enjoy intimate sexual relations after breaking the fast throughout the night until the time of abstention from food, drink, and gratifications (i.e. when the time of fajr arrives).

Allah Almighty knows best.

The post Having Intercourse with One’s Spouse whilst fasting in Ramadan appeared first on Seekers Elite.

One who loves wealth will specialise in accumulating it and further aspires to learn more on the tricks of his work.

These Satellite television channels also specialise in attracting viewers by airing a variety of shows with the latest technology available. They also train their presenters/hosts in attracting viewers for all their programs.

This can also be said of radio, newspapers and television. The same applies to marketers who market various products, whether halaal or haram. These people endeavour to specialise in techniques that can lead them to excel in their respective fields.

In fact, winning hearts is also an art with its own means and ways.

Assuming you enter a gathering of fifty men and as you pass by each of them shaking everyone’s hand, the first shakes your hand indifferently and says very coldly, “Welcome”.

The next is busy speaking to the next person, and as you greet him, he surprisingly responds to you very impersonally and without even giving you a face, then continues with his conversation.

The third person is also speaking on the phone, so he simply stretches out his hand without saying a word or showing any respect to you and your greetings.

However, when you get to the fourth person, he sees you and immediately stands up to greet you humbly. As soon as your eyes meet his, he smiles and demonstrates that he is glad to meet you.

He shakes your hand warmly and welcomes you, even though you two never met and don’t know each other at all! You then greet the rest of the people and take your seat.

For what just happened, do you doubt the fact that your heart will have the most respect for the fourth person? No doubt it will, even though you do not know his name, nor his status or profession.

Despite that, he successfully captures your heart, not with status, wealth, or lineage, but merely by his interpersonal skills.

That’s why I will say, hearts are not won by force, wealth, beauty or status. In fact, as you can see, they are won by much less of a sacrifice, yet few are able to win them which isn’t a trait of a good Muslim.

Let’s take this for example.

Have you ever known a highly ranked fellow who whenever you pay a visit in his house, you noticed that his house would always be full of guests? At first glance, you will definitely be amazed at how much this family is loved and respected.

Let years pass by and that fellow retired. Go to his house for a visit.

What have you noticed? In fact, with many people, you will enter his mansion and went into the guest room only to notice more than enough  chairs, but only one person watching television and a servant offering him tea or coffee.

Begin to compare his situation while he was working with now that he had retired. What was it about him that had attracted all those great masses of people then?

You’ll realise that the man did not win people over by his kindness, manners and good treatment of others. He had only attracted them by means of his position, status and the fact that he was well-connected.

When he lost his position, he also lost the love people had for him. Therefore, learn a lesson from kind of people.

Deal with people so skilfully that they love you for who you are and what you say, and for your gentleness, generosity and that of your beautiful smile.

They will love the fact that you overlook their faults and status and stand by them at times of hardship. Do not allow their hearts to be attached merely to your status and your wealth!

From this theory we should also know that the one who provides his children and wife (s) with wealth, food and drink only does not win their hearts by doing so; rather, only their stomachs!

And for that fellow who showers his family with more than enough wealth while he mistreats them (or doesn’t treat them as expected) does not win their hearts; rather, he only wins their pockets.

This is enough reason not to be surprised if you see a young person who faces a problem and therefore complains to the Imam of the mosque, teacher or friends, but never to his/her own parents?

This would definitely be because the father has failed his duty to win over his heart and break down barriers. Rather, it is the teacher or the friend, who has managed to capture his heart.

Likewise, another important point: Have you ever noticed that when certain people visit a gathering packed with people and look left and right for somewhere comfortable to fix himself?

There always seems to be a lot of people calling them over to sit next to them. Why is that?

Or at a buffet, where everyone serves themselves food and then looks for a comfortable place to sit, have you noted that such people, as soon as they have filled their plates, are subject to large  numbers of people calling them over in order to eat with them on one table?

Whereas, others will fill their plates and may have nobody taking any interest whatsoever, so they have a very lonely meal to struggle with?

Why are people so eager to be attached with one type but not the other?

Don’t you agree with me? Is it not the case that certain people have the heart to attract other hearts wherever they may be, as if they are magnets?

How extraordinary!

How on earth did they manage to do that?

It’s only by using clever techniques to capture people’s hearts.

Resolution…

Our aptness to capture people’s hearts and win their love brings us great happiness in life.

The post A hundred ways to win people’s heart for righteous Muslims appeared first on Seekers Elite.