“Verily, Allah will not change the condition of a people as long as they do not change their state themselves”

(Quran 13:11)

So whoever tries to change for the sake of Allah, Allah will surely help him. And for the fact that you are seriously scanning this text, you are definitely with a great seriousness to living a better life.

Through building a good relationship with ourselves, we can discover more successful ways to improve.

This journey is a very important one which must be open to change.

Below are some useful guide to every Muslim who wants to build a successful relationship with Himself or herself.

1. Refuse to be trapped – Discover your Strength and weakness and work on them


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For some people, the impression others have about them and the traits they have been nurtured on by which they are recognized can never be changed. These people surrender to this thought, just as people would surrender to the fact that they cannot change their height or skin color.

Yes, it’s really sad to say, giving up before the real action. How can we deal with this aspect of us? It’s by acknowledging our weaknesses.

Acknowledging our shortcomings is very important to determine what we really need to improve. When we acknowledge our shortcomings, then we start on the path to self-discipline.

And yes, always have it in mind that your weaknesses are not your downfall. These are the areas you need to improve on. It is not something you lack, rather, it is something you need to develop and build.

This acknowledgement is one of the things that will lure self-discipline which is clearly a sign of Allah’s care, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily! Allah will not change the good condition of people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves”

(Surah al-Ra’d 13:11)

An intelligent person thinks that to change one’s nature can perhaps be easier than changing his clothes.

Our nature is not like spilt milk that cannot be scooped up again. Rather, we are always in control of it and there are certain ways in which we can alter it, including the way we think!

Don’t forget to discover you strengths as well.

These are the things you can leverage on, things you can use to push yourself further. Your biggest personal strength would be something that comes very easily for you.

Take some time and think about what comes naturally for you. It could be anything and don’t worry, help is well assured by Allah.


Yeah, I Know! if Allah is with you what else is there to worry about. Remember… whoever tries to change for the sake of Allah, Allah will help him to change Insha Allah.

2. Always remember the minor and major sins

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Most fires start due to minor causes, and one sin leads to another. If the heart is darkened and blackened because of sin, it will no longer be a heart that is alive and recognizes good as good and evil as evil.

As for the Greatest Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), he mentioned:

“Beware of trivial sins, for they will accumulate until they destroy a man.”

Narrated by Ahmad (37/467)

3. Beware of the fitnah (temptation) of wealth

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The one whom Allah has blessed with wealth should use that wealth to help himself, to obey Allah and spend it in ways that please Allah.

And beware of going to extremes with regard to permissible things or spending it on haram things, because wealth may be a cause of a person being tempted away from his religious commitment.

Allah says in the Quran:

“Your wealth and your children are only a trial, whereas Allah! With Him is a great reward (Paradise)”


The Messenger of Allah (May peace be upon him) once said to his companions:

The most dreadful thing I fear in your case is what Allah brings forth for you in the form of the adornment of the world.

The Prophet’s Companions then asked, Messenger of Allah, what is the adornment of the world?

He replied that it is the blessings (natural resources) of the earth.

They (again) asked, Messenger of Allah, does good produce evil?

He then said to them, No, only good comes out of good (3 times).

All that which the spring rain helps to grow kills or is about to kill but (the animal) which feeds on vegetation. It eats and when its flanks are distended, it faces the sun, it chews the cud, it has dunged and urinated. it returns and eats.

This wealth is green and sweet, and he who accepts it and applies it rightly, finds it a good help, but he who takes it wrongfully is like one who eats without being satisfied.

(Muslim: Book 5, Number 2289)

4. Watch out for Hasad (Envy)

Hasad is a desire that a blessing, or a cause of happiness, may depart from its possessor and become transferred to oneself. Hasad is cancerous in its effect and leads to hatred, animosity, as well as ill-feeling and often further disobedience towards Allah.

It is condemned in many ahadith.

Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said, ‘Envy eats away good deeds like fire eats away wood.’

(Abu Daud and al-Tirmidhi)

Life is full of pains that we suffer due to others. Some of us are too proud to accept people’s excuses and forgive them.

Some people punish themselves by not forgiving others. Their hearts are often filled with envy that keeps their thoughts busy and constantly torments them.

How fair is envy! It begins with the one who harbors it and ends up killing him.

Therefore, do not torment yourself. There are certain things in the world that you simply cannot punish anyone over. Have a big heart, forget the past and continue to live your life as normal.

5. Humble yourself

Humility is a virtue on which a special stress is laid in the Qur’an and the Sunnah.

It is reported that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said:

“Shall I not tell you about the inhabitants of Paradise? They are weak one, who is considered weak, who if he were to swear an oath by Allah, He would keep it.

Shall I not tell you about the inhabitants of Hell? They are very surely, uncivil and proud one.”

(Bukhari and Muslim)

This hadith describes the people of Paradise as weak, weak means a noble, humble, and mild person who deals humbly with others whom others regard as weak in comparison, the proud and arrogant.

He (pbuh) used to say, “No one with an atom’s weight of arrogance will enter Paradise!”

How many times is it that we hear people say, “Dear brother, so-and-so is arrogant and thinks far too much of himself!” They hate and condemn him for his attitude.

You may ask a person, “Why don’t you ask your neighbour’s help?” He would say, “He is very arrogant with us. He does not even like to speak to us with a straight face!”

How hated these people are – they who are arrogant and talk down to others! How rejected is the one who transgresses because he sees himself as self-sufficient!

He is the one who puts on a biggety look for the people and walks through the land exultantly. He is the one who looks down on workers, servants and poor people. He is too arrogant to speak to them, shake their hands or sit with them.

In short… Whoever is humble for Allah’s sake, Allah elevates him. Allah only increases the honor of the one who is humble.

6. Temptation to show off

Riya’ (which means showing off) renders good deeds void and unacceptable, turning them into sins and making the person who has this riya’ liable for Hellfire.

An act of worship intended for other than Allah will bear witness against the person on the Day of Judgment and he will be subject to punishment for this very deed.

The Prophet (PBUH) said,

“Whoever shows off, Allah will expose him.” [Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6134; Muslim; 2986]

Ibn Hajar reported that al-Khattaabi said, :

whoever does something that is not sincerely for the sake of Allah, merely wanting people to see him and hear him, will be punished for that – Allah will expose him and make known what he is concealing.


It was said that whoever does something with the intention of gaining status and prestige among people, and does not seek the Face of Allah by doing it, Allah will make him the subject of bad speech among the people in whose eyes he wanted to gain status, and he will have no reward for it in the Hereafter.

(Fath al-Baari, 11/336)

7. Control your anger

The thought just came to mind to state this famous hadith which reads that “A strong person is not the one who throws his adversaries to the ground. Rather, a strong person is he who contains himself when angry.” (al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Yes! The hero isn’t the one with a strong body who overpowers anyone he wrestles with, for if this was the yardstick of heroism, then surely the animals would have been nobler than men.

Rather, the hero is the intelligent one who knows how to skillfully deal with diverse situations. The hero is the one who tactfully deals with his wife, children, manager, and colleagues without losing them.

Said the Messenger of Allah (pbuh):

“Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allah will fill his heart with contentment on the Day of Resurrection.”

(Reported by al-Tabaraani, 12/453)

Another great reward is described in the Prophet’s words:

“Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allah will call him before all of mankind on the Day of Resurrection, and will let him choose of the Hur al-’Iyn whoever he wants.”

(Reported by Abu Dawud, 4777)

8. Choosing righteous companions

Strive to choose righteous friends who are religiously-committed, trustworthy and of good character.

Who are sincere towards Allah and are preoccupied with seeking knowledge and are of a good nature.

And of course, those who can help you in achieving your aim and encourage you to do good deeds.

Never should you go in for a friend who lucks all the above qualities, doing that is like trapping yourself in this world because such will never bring any goodness than harm in your life.

9. Complete it with Generosity

If you are generous to others, Allah will be generous to you as well. Value the bounty that has been given to you and try your utmost to act in accordance with the same generosity and give out from that which you have been blessed with.

A man once asked the greatest  Prophet (peace and mercy be upon him) for something in charity and the Prophet (PBUH) gave him a flock of sheep. When the man returned to his people he said, ‘O my people, convert to Islam, because Muhammad gives [in charity] as a man who does not fear poverty.’

Alhamdullilah, Thank you very much for stepping by, I hope this information was useful. I entreat readers to comment about this article, helpful or not.

I pray that Allah grant you the improvements you need in all aspect of your life. Allah knows best.