how to win people

A hundred ways to win people’s heart for righteous Muslims

Anyone who is involved in a particular course wishes to excel in order to achieve his objectives.

One who loves wealth will specialise in accumulating it and further aspires to learn more on the tricks of his work.

These Satellite television channels also specialise in attracting viewers by airing a variety of shows with the latest technology available. They also train their presenters/hosts in attracting viewers for all their programs.

This can also be said of radio, newspapers and television. The same applies to marketers who market various products, whether halaal or haram. These people endeavour to specialise in techniques that can lead them to excel in their respective fields.

In fact, winning hearts is also an art with its own means and ways.

Assuming you enter a gathering of fifty men and as you pass by each of them shaking everyone’s hand, the first shakes your hand indifferently and says very coldly, “Welcome”.

The next is busy speaking to the next person, and as you greet him, he surprisingly responds to you very impersonally and without even giving you a face, then continues with his conversation.

The third person is also speaking on the phone, so he simply stretches out his hand without saying a word or showing any respect to you and your greetings.

However, when you get to the fourth person, he sees you and immediately stands up to greet you humbly. As soon as your eyes meet his, he smiles and demonstrates that he is glad to meet you.

He shakes your hand warmly and welcomes you, even though you two never met and don’t know each other at all! You then greet the rest of the people and take your seat.

For what just happened, do you doubt the fact that your heart will have the most respect for the fourth person? No doubt it will, even though you do not know his name, nor his status or profession.

Despite that, he successfully captures your heart, not with status, wealth, or lineage, but merely by his interpersonal skills.

That’s why I will say, hearts are not won by force, wealth, beauty or status. In fact, as you can see, they are won by much less of a sacrifice, yet few are able to win them which isn’t a trait of a good Muslim.

Let’s take this for example.

Have you ever known a highly ranked fellow who whenever you pay a visit in his house, you noticed that his house would always be full of guests? At first glance, you will definitely be amazed at how much this family is loved and respected.

Let years pass by and that fellow retired. Go to his house for a visit.

What have you noticed? In fact, with many people, you will enter his mansion and went into the guest room only to notice more than enough  chairs, but only one person watching television and a servant offering him tea or coffee.

Begin to compare his situation while he was working with now that he had retired. What was it about him that had attracted all those great masses of people then?

You’ll realise that the man did not win people over by his kindness, manners and good treatment of others. He had only attracted them by means of his position, status and the fact that he was well-connected.

When he lost his position, he also lost the love people had for him. Therefore, learn a lesson from kind of people.

Deal with people so skilfully that they love you for who you are and what you say, and for your gentleness, generosity and that of your beautiful smile.

They will love the fact that you overlook their faults and status and stand by them at times of hardship. Do not allow their hearts to be attached merely to your status and your wealth!

From this theory we should also know that the one who provides his children and wife (s) with wealth, food and drink only does not win their hearts by doing so; rather, only their stomachs!

And for that fellow who showers his family with more than enough wealth while he mistreats them (or doesn’t treat them as expected) does not win their hearts; rather, he only wins their pockets.

This is enough reason not to be surprised if you see a young person who faces a problem and therefore complains to the Imam of the mosque, teacher or friends, but never to his/her own parents?

This would definitely be because the father has failed his duty to win over his heart and break down barriers. Rather, it is the teacher or the friend, who has managed to capture his heart.

Likewise, another important point: Have you ever noticed that when certain people visit a gathering packed with people and look left and right for somewhere comfortable to fix himself?

There always seems to be a lot of people calling them over to sit next to them. Why is that?

Or at a buffet, where everyone serves themselves food and then looks for a comfortable place to sit, have you noted that such people, as soon as they have filled their plates, are subject to large  numbers of people calling them over in order to eat with them on one table?

Whereas, others will fill their plates and may have nobody taking any interest whatsoever, so they have a very lonely meal to struggle with?

Why are people so eager to be attached with one type but not the other?

Don’t you agree with me? Is it not the case that certain people have the heart to attract other hearts wherever they may be, as if they are magnets?

How extraordinary!

How on earth did they manage to do that?

It’s only by using clever techniques to capture people’s hearts.

Resolution…

Our aptness to capture people’s hearts and win their love brings us great happiness in life.

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